+| Embrace da' vices. Feed your addiction |+

Monday, September 20, 2004

Junior. &. Happy/Sad. Confrontations.

HAPPY---->

I went to sch with a false front today.. I was soo upset inside.. Soo troubled.. Reali reali upset.. But lotsa happy & weird tings happened in school today.. Anyway tml is Yu Wen's 19th Birthday.. Gonna celebrate! Crapped alot with my new classmates.. Haha.. & im not rich! Y do ppl keep tinkin im rich! I live in a 3 room flat! Does tt sound rich to u ppl? But my family have our own aparment in Melb, Australia.. muAhahaa..

& Mermaid is in NYP! He freaking took dunno how many of my pix for his project.. Worst is ask mi to stick my tongue out & gib him tt "flirtish" look.. I hate him! I hate takin photos & i serioulsy tink my biz-law lecturer is sick.. She made mi hate lanyards! Arghx! I gt 2 new phobias!

I got interviewed by TCS juz now.. Not gonna tell u ppl wad is it abt.. Lips sealed! muAhaha.. & i found $50 @ Somerset MRT!

SAD---->

I tink i hide my emotions well.. No one in sch seen mi cry b4? Shld be bah! So ugly lo.. Arghx.. I hate my life.. Its really really complicated.. Im nt a normal 18 yr old kid.. I have done soo much.. Experienced soo much.. Juz tt i don wan ppl to find out e dark side of mi.. Thr's soo many tings i wanna tell someone in sch.. & tt someone is soo impnt to mi.. I cant bear to hurt ____

Went Heeren today to meet Gary & return e stuff he bought for mi.. Lyk e shirt.. Hugo perfume.. The chain he gave mi.. The Samsung E-600C phone he got mi to contact mi.. Arghx.. He was there wen i reached Heeren, Spinelli.. He waved to mi & held my hand.. But i pulled it away.. & i saw e hurt in his eyes.. I was feeling soo terrible.. He asked how am i doin in school.. Anything new.. Who im with now.. & all e while he called mi "Jun-dear" or "Jun-jun"..

Den Gary asked mi can we start over again.. I expected this question sooner or later.. NO!! I guess everyone muz be thinking i am e one tt broke off with him.. I AM SOO NOT! He was seeing some other guy called Kelvin! How do u expect mi to accept tt? Worst is thy had sex! If Gary cant be truthful & faithful.. He doesnt deserve ME.. Why come back to mi wen tt Kelvin dumped him?

I cried wen i said no.. Its nt tt i cant bear to end the r/s but its soo hard for mi.. I treasure every r/s i had.. I want my ex to stil remain fwens with mi.. I don wan them to drift away from mi once we/re ovr.. But anything more than fwens after tt is a big no no..

& to tt FUCKING CHEE BYE OUT THR! Im not with someone for money! Oh plz.. I don have the looks to "mesmerize" them! & why would i wanna do tt?

So long as the person does not expect mi to pay for every single movie we go too.. Every meal we eat.. Pay for all expenses.. This kind of ppl are CHEAPSKATES! I cant care less for rich ppl! So long as the person is true to mi im happy! & most importantly i muz luv the person as much as he/she luvs mi.. I learnt my lesson e hard way.. Its soo hard for mi to force myself to luv someone..

I dunno.. But at least im no longer burdend.. I can finally breathe easier.. I dumped 5 bucks on the table to pay him for the fruit punch i had.. & i hitched a cab home.. I was lyk crying & soooo ugly can........ Cant imagine myself sitting MRT & crying.. Haha.. Im really really much better now..

REALLY! I AM SOO MUCH BETTER OFF!